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SYA
[2♡17]-Currently doin Foundation in Law at UITM Dengkil.

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Assalamualikum! Syahirahyusri - 19 - Blog about : personal life | blog tutorials & stuffs | short stories | girl stuffs


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N♡te t♡ self :

The only thing you'll be sorry in the future is to do things without a purpose. Be rich, not only on numbers but focus more on experiences. Be strong, to know that failures are the keys to success. Be kind, it's our responsibility to build a better world. Be thankful, and you'll find happiness in little things. Greater things are waiting ahead, all you need is to believe, look forward and stay positive.

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assalamualaikum dan selamat malam semua ;)

A lil bit excited tonight and sad because...you need to read my next entry! ㅋㅋㅋㅋ

We both know we can't heal if if we're together. It was just something we have to do on our own. We could be happy but find true happiness, we can't give each other that for now. We've hurt one another and we're both broken. We just needed to heal to live again. But to move on, to get better, there was always a price to pay. Even if it meant us, saying goodbye to each other indefinitely.
I always dreams that my life will always have a conflict and happy ending like finally you found the true one in novels or whatever I read but, day by day I feel trash. I feel invisible. I feel normal. I feel nothing. I put a very high hope to have some buddy that can act like the real one. I have but feel like don't have. Dreams for having 12 bad fucking handsome boys like EXO as my classmates and they all falling hard to me but I just a trash who sucking her own fucking dream. Whatever, all EXO-L have a same dream like me. ayyy

we go back to the track;

he save her life from suicide. she ask why he do that. he said he likes her black long jet hair.
start from that day, she realized he always pay attention to her but when their eyes meet, he pretends he didnt. she's a messy, broken and "zombie" girl. she didnt even take care about her image to catch one's attentions. but still, she have out there. but she didnt know. his best friend likes her. but she didnt know. his best friend brought her into their "gang" which she could feel so special because all of them notice her just they didnt have any feelings to her. you know how your feeling when you're surrounded by the boys? one day, his best friend said he likes her just he didnt confess to her. it by accidently. when they coming to his apartment and saying some rubbish things. she didnt feel anything. but when he said he likes her, she feel something warm unspoken. but, their 2 months secret love finally leaked, in a very awkward and shame situation. the boy both fight. she can't stop blame herself. there's a long day until the day she got hit by track. its so tragic when he need to leave her to somewhere only he know. she fight for her life and she survive. his best friend come. she awkward. she ask him, he must hate her. he said no. its not her fault. just because both of his trusted friends lied by infront his face, he couldnt help but feel trash and fooled. but then he realized, he's stupid. he didnt notice that his friend who he beat up is the one who always looked at her at cafeteria. who saved up her life. who always there when she need someone. she wanted to cry. but she can't. he finally left and promise to come again. promise he want her to still be his friend no matter what. day by day, she wait him to visit her at hospital but he didnt showed up. when she want to go back to her ward one evening, suddenly her legs numb. she recognise him at the end of hallways. she want to run from him. this is so...awkward. but he helped her because she walks to slow. in the awkward situation, they just look into each other eyes, trying to find something. both want to talk something they kept so long. then the nurse said he need to leave but she said don't go. he paid the nurse and spend his time with her. he said, he'll leaving tomorrow night. mute. she don't know how to reply. her heart sick and pain. they slept on the small hospital bed with their back facing each other. she still remember the first time they having the same bed and they lying liked this. she cried in silent. she miss him even he's with her. beside her. she know, he'll leave...
he puts her on the wheelchair and take her to the hospital entrance where he'll leaving her in any minute. they trying to express everything in a short time. but can't. it's hard to say goodbye. she didnt want to say goodbye either, so she ask him why he paid her tuition, he said "I don't want to lose you" and he stepped in the black sedan. she watch him until the black sedan gone. she feel pain. her heart numb. she want to cry. she feel nothing from the time he leave. she miss him...

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